Quirky Voices Presents

THE Moonologue Sessions - PART ONE

July 21, 2019 Season 1 Episode 1
Quirky Voices Presents
THE Moonologue Sessions - PART ONE
Quirky Voices Presents
THE Moonologue Sessions - PART ONE
Jul 21, 2019 Season 1 Episode 1
Sarah Golding, Tanja Milojevic
Sarah Golding and Tanja Milojevic aim to be the first women in the moon, transported by a rocket fuelled by words....words from THE MOONOLOGUE SESSIONS
Show Notes Transcript


Have you gazed up at the moon today and thought...wow...fifty years ago today, men trod upon its very surface and stole a bit to bring back here, planted a flag and had a little jump about, did some experiments and....existed? Yup? I have. Maybe not the stealing bit...borrowed...yeah...borrowed, But of course - it was a much more major machievement mby mankind than my flippancy. I find them...truly inspiring. I mean. Did you SEE the tin can rocket ship wrapped in gold foil they did it in??!!

I wanted to do something to celebrate this major anniversary, and set up a QUIRKY VOICES monologue competition to find...some moonologues....yes...moonologues inspired by this majorly exciting anniversary.

And here we are - part one

The first

Of three.

Now, I'm going to say it here there and everywhere. I am...principally a professional voice actor...and teacher...and sound editing is something I am very new to in the grand scheme of things so..,y'know....some levels will be allll over the place. Please forgive my vertical leaning curve. I also do not own an extensive sound library of amazing effects so did a lot of experiments with sound things on my DAW....(that's what I edited it on) But, THE CONTENT ohhhh the content IS WONDEROUS...BECAUSE....BECAUSE OF THE AMAAAAZINGGGG TALENT that has written and performed these wonderful moonologues. And I also had fun myself on the way too.

Massive thanks to TANJA MILOJEVIC who quite last minute came on board to play...

In this ep, you can hear the following MOONOLOGUES:

Moon by Haydn Davis, narrated by Tanja Milojevic
The Apollo landing Moon franchise that never was by J Christian Ellet and performed by James Oliva
The Fleas By Maya Peace, performed by Mads Upton
Chaika, written by Karin Heimdahl and performed by Angelique Lazarus
Darkness, written and performed by Fiona Thraille

Thanks to Bret Maskill-Watts as narrator - Bret's amaazinnggggg....hire them - hire ALLL of these people!

The amazing John of Caalo Xan for his music - find out more here

And to ALLLLL of my amazing Patreon Supporters who have made this show even possible....a huge thank you for your support. If you would like to help me get (an editor) better at editing, or just help fuel more fun projects, please go to my
Quirky Voices Patreon
 Quirky Voices Ko-fi
and you can check out more fun coming up on QuirkyVoices@weebly.com



Support the show

Speaker 1:
Speaker 2:
Hello and welcome to the Moonah log sessions by quirky voices. We're excited to share with you today some monologues inspired by the moon landings of 50 years ago today, and none of this program would be possible without the amazing Patriots for quirky voices. So Elma artists, soapbox, audio, oblivious productions, Chan Brownlow, Christine, Hazel Kareem, and Karen Kirstie, Matthew, Michael, Paul, and William. This is for you. For you, our legend. Enjoy. Oh, and this awesome music is by Carlo Saad and joy.
Speaker 3:
Welcome to session, an hour of spiral arm of sharing winning audio monologues from those who entered in one of their words, a place on a rocket ship to the moon.
Speaker 4:
The moon. Such beauty, such traders. Some say drugs is crazy, but some of us were crazy to begin with. Sure. I'm your narrator. Pleasure to meet you anyway. Total rocket ship.
Speaker 3:
We don't have to Chuck it had always Tanya and Sarah having a bit of chess and eating chocolate bravely. Oh, so bravely. They're on their way to the moon. That's on and rest. Peace from the lawnmowers and traffic in general.
Speaker 5:
Hi. By having built the rocket ship out of old tech and audio plugins and pop shields and with the rockets, every movement you buy, the speaking of words, they must speak for us to use the speech of others to realize their dream of becoming [inaudible]
Speaker 6:
[inaudible] loony surface more like Brett. But you have got an awesome narrator voice. Do you know that? Oh, thank you very much. Bye. He moved me chick. Well, cheeks [inaudible] screen off.
Speaker 7:
Terrible flirt Sarah. Just saying
Speaker 6:
I you, yeah, I think I might put that on my CV. Oh my God. It's not flirting. It's just being nice. Yeah.
Speaker 7:
Uh huh. Yep. So here we are, Sarah, you and me orbiting the earth fueled by 14 slices of moon writings written to celebrate the moon that happened 50 years ago today. Wow. How old were you then?
Speaker 6:
Ah, yeah, that was a twinkle in my mom. Pause. I think very much. Although I'm there. My husband's 50 this year too, so I'll tell you BA I [inaudible] to my mind. Yeah. Bad day too.
Speaker 7:
No, no, don't sing Sarah. Great. More fueled. Throw in the
Speaker 6:
you'll haven't, you haven't tasted like, like cheesy cookies. Nice. What? I should, um, I should text him if I'm going to be away for a few days before we, before we lose the signal. I forgot.
Speaker 7:
Sarah, you're much more drunk, Helen, in real life than I thought you were. It's a compliment. Don't worry. I would drink to that, but not till we're closer. We need to name it first anyway. Okay. Well I named this bog you and name this bar space bar. Oh my God. Not sure I'm going to last three days would be like this. Oh cool.
Speaker 6:
So I'm um, we, we slowing down. You need some fuel out. I think you should read the first one and the fuel. Really burning the first one.
Speaker 7:
Muno Gulf joy. Me. Who else am I going to ask? Nabu the boo bear your dog. No. Lovely bye. I can't believe you bought him. I mean where's he going to do a power's about my mascot. Mister twinkle toes. Hello, mr twinkle toes. Hmm.
Speaker 8:
Oh. Oh. [inaudible]
Speaker 7:
by not saying another word for the moment because you are quite creepy and I don't know why I actually brought you.
Speaker 6:
No, no, he's, he's very creepy, Tanya.
Speaker 8:
I like creepy. I get Oh, creepy.
Speaker 6:
Yeah. I suppose we could ask him to actually 99 just put him away somewhere. Strange staring eyes on the hairy robot thing. It really had him in your coat when you were literally just just staring and in Harry and [inaudible].
Speaker 8:
Uh, if the best,
Speaker 6:
Oh my God, that's great. Okay. Twinkle toes with Tim. Yeah. Tony, you go on. You start before him. Before we lose the light. Completely turn to venture on to the dark side of the moon.
Speaker 7:
I love that album. Okay. Oh, here it goes. Something
Speaker 7:
moon by Haiti Davis narrated by Tanya [inaudible]. I walk along a long, lonely, dark alleyway. My senses are alive. I'm a little bit scared to attacks in my past. Flitter across my mind like Phantoms. Was that a noise behind me? I spent around nothing. No one. Just the dark dead silent night. I returned to my journey. I look to the sky. Dark clouds barely discernible from the starless dark sky float across my view making me feel a pain, a vertigo. I look straight ahead, shaking off the feelings of dread and sickness. Up ahead. I suddenly see a gleam of light, a narrow silvery beam cutting across the alleyway about 100 yards ahead, illuminating the rough ground part of the bear rotting fence on one side and tangled undergrowth on the other. The monochrome view that greets me all be it a welcome change from the cloying dark is never the less unsettling and I hear my breath catch in the back of my throat.
Speaker 7:
My pace slows as my heart rate quickens noticeably and once again I look behind me. This time, this time a shadow of a figure is barely visible in the distance, no more than a slightly darker part of the surrounding view. There is no doubt that someone is there following me. Suddenly the luminescence that was confined to a single Ray envelops me and I look up to see a gigantic full moon above me. It seems to have a banish the clouds that once obscured it and it's cold. Light flows over me. I look back to the shadow of the figure following me and within the DDT, Godot, Volvo high brow starts to run towards me. Where will, uh,
Speaker 6:
actually, if you don't mind me saying you do need a shave chairman. Yes. So yeah. Oh, I thought you put him away. Did you know
Speaker 7:
one long hair coming out of your chin?
Speaker 6:
Yeah. Coasts. It's for good luck. Yeah. You'll get one when you're my age. You never know when you might need a alone hair. So twinkle toes pulled out my head. God, that's creepy, right book. Wow. Yeah. That is long though. It's weird. I'm changing the hairy subject. Do they, the moon landings ever happened?
Speaker 7:
I don't know. I mean, the stuff we saw on TV really kind of leads me to believe that it's true. But why haven't we advanced since then? Why aren't we going to Mars? And you know, and I don't mean the Rover. I mean like why aren't people settling on a different planet by now? But I don't know. I mean it was pretty realistic and money didn't co ensue it, I guess not enough money since the space race. So like, I mean, that could be why. I don't know. I guess my short answer is I don't really know. I hope so.
Speaker 6:
Well see, I found this grieving monologue from, from James Powell, the infamous American screenwriter. He, you know, the fella anyways, have a listen to this,
Speaker 9:
the Apollo moon landing franchise that never was. My name is James Pell and I am the uncredited screenwriter for the 1969 summer blockbuster. The moon landing. People talk about Stanley Kubrick's brilliant vision. Like I didn't write out the step by step instructions. Oh, well, you know, he did manage to find some ways to put his personal stamp on it. The script, uh, my script called for a shot of a, uh, still unmoving American flag. But you know, Kubrick thought the imagery of a blowing flag would make for a much more pro American Apple pie shot as he called it. So that's how we ended up with that. A ridiculousness. Uh, one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Remember that little gem? Yeah. Well, Oh me, Oh, that's a, it's not entirely true. I will say that new Armstrong and I worked together on crafting his famous line.
Speaker 9:
But if I am truly being honest with myself and with you, then I should probably admit that I did about, I'll say, uh, 85% of the work in meals, 10% a member of craft services came up with the a one giant leap. It so, you know, they, they, they get about, we'll say 5% before that we were a, you know, considering a, a hop, skip and jump for mankind or a bunny hub for all of humankind or something. Uh, I really felt that we should feature the word hop cause at the time the public was a really latching onto the zeitgeists of, uh, of all the songs in popular culture that had featured the word hop or had a bunny in it. Um, and at the time when we were first conceptualizing it, we were awfully close to Easter, uh, for our release date. And I thought maybe we would make it in time.
Speaker 9:
So putting an Easter bunny reference in there would have probably been ideal. I, I've grown to accept it and, uh, appreciate it for what it is, uh, regardless of its, uh, banality. Uh, then deal tough is lines anyway, you know, uh, the, the, the man was at was a terrible, terrible, improper, but you know what they say about actors in astronauts? Oh, it's, uh, it's pretty funny what they say. Oh, well, um, you know, uh, so, so, so once I, uh, I, you know, I turned in the final draft, I, I lost, you know, all creative control over the project, which is, you know, cry me a river. Cause that's the story of every amazing screenwriter, you know, a man in black, uh, in a black suit, uh, gave me a check for $35,000, and then drove away in a black Cadillac, which at the time, $35,000, I was over the moon, so to speak.
Speaker 9:
Uh, Oh, well, you know, right away I, I went and, and bought myself a black suit and a Buick. I, uh, couldn't afford a Cadillac yet, but, but it was coming soon. I could feel it. At the time I thought I'd finally made it. I envisioned the moon lending as an Epic trilogy. Eventually we'd be able to spin it off into an entire cinematic universe, a shared universe, if you will. I already started writing a sequel. See, Neil is a debt and buzz along with an overwhelmed rookie astronaut for a partner is forced to travel back to the moon in 1971 to find out why, why, what you ask. That's what everyone else was asking at the time. But the third was going to be something bigger, something to do with lunar land rights and colonial disputes. I wanted to get into the politics of colonization and stuff like that.
Speaker 9:
Important things at the time, but I hadn't written it out yet. I just, I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but, uh, I had a lot of notes. I watched in awe on July, 2019 69 not at the television screen, but at all the faces and raptured by our art. No one watching the moon landing that night would ever be the same again, pleased with our opening night success. I sat back and I waited for their call. I just stared at the phone. I would sit there at my recliner with a whiskey in hand, a cigarette press between my lips, just squeezing the life out of it with it waiting.
Speaker 9:
I plan to play a little hardball during negotiations. The first film was a hit and that meant I had some leverage. Now was it about to squander the opportunity, but, but that call never came. The studio decided to hire a new team of writers and proceeded to churn out five count them five sub par sequels in three years. Apollo 12 Apollo 14 and Apollo 17 were major flubs and largely ignored by the general public. By 1973 it was clear that the American people were bored with the moon and the plug was officially pulled on the moon landing franchise. The ruin it. We could've had it all could have had it all recently. I've heard the space force rumors and with what they're planning to do now, they know it's going to take a real creative genius to pull it off. Yeah. If my phone rings, if my country needs me again.
Speaker 10:
Yeah. Yeah. I will tell him that I call God bless America.
Speaker 7:
Well that's food for thought. Could space force be real? I wonder if they have cool uniforms. I'd love to be in space falls like vocally not, not actually. Probably be a bit sick. I mean I haven't done many space things. Slightly levy voiced the main getting space small as full as two queen [inaudible] I've done a few. Mara's fall vast Edith zero. You star Trek out post. So wait, why are we going to the moon again? We are going to the moon to be the first all female and twinkle twinkle toes. Oh bear and Napa go first. All female and twinkle toes. I'm [inaudible] and you're freshly plucked. Inhumanly long lucky champion.
Speaker 6:
My freshly Plotkin humanly long lucky chin had rocket mission to land on the moon in it. Yeah. Yes. This is a sharing of, of a live recording of people's winning monologues sent to quirky voices and performed all the way up here in space. Yeah. The effect then beamed across this wondrous universe for literature for ah, for adventure. And then hello if you're listening. Hi Sarah. Hello Tanya. So yeah, listener, um, probably just this, my mom and dad, um, if you go outside and take a look up from, from wherever you are, but don't let that front door close on you again cause you know the problems that cause a son. So just go on out. I'll let you go right now. Go on. We can wait a bit. Can we Tanya, just to go outside, even if it's like 4:00 AM and just, just try not to wake everyone they and, and you go out and hook up and you might just split us all between the planet and do thousands of miles per hour above your heads and just, just breathe and uh, it's eh, stop and, and properly look.
Speaker 6:
Okay. Just, just take a moment to take in the vast sky of stars. Move lost in numbers than any brain could ever properly understand. Pinpricks of light traveling light years to your eyes. Well, while I'm talking about it to yours and I still there, just, just have a little wonder like I am now. Was that [inaudible] make shift? Look at window down on earth and, and beyond. And the one day is that, is there anyone staring back at us other than what? Twinkle toes. Gow my face is that rum. So where I was, is there, is there anyone staring backers other than the duck doing a poof. You serious? He tried to stop him. [inaudible] eh, I'm trying to concentrate on being wishful and, and contemplate our existence in this universe. And no, you, Oh my goodness. This is floating. It's floating.
Speaker 7:
Oh. Nabu good boy. Oh my God. That's where the house key, when I was looking for that for weeks couldn't get in for a couple of days. I have a, we gonna wash that.
Speaker 6:
Uh, please put up poo back in. The fuel system stinks. And now, ah, do, why has no one invented stench? Just poop and sound planes. Hm. Don't get me started on it almost. Anyways, what was I Oh yes. Wistful was full whistle and, and, and us, me and Tonya, twinkle toes, Nobu and, and my one ridiculously freakishly long chin. Well. Well if you look up, he might say we like a blue flash speeding across the sky cause we're growing fast. See we've just fired up the combustion fuel injection word in conglomerated. So combustion fuel injection word in conglomorate terms. Yes. It sits where Rao our words go in just in here into that microphone. And they, they pushed fuel out to, to power the engines next to the emergency law. Maroon toaster power behind us somewhere.
Speaker 7:
Yeah. How does it do that? Words, power rockets. Um, science. Science. That's all you got. I mean, isn't that amazing?
Speaker 6:
Well wait, Oh, beating earth cruising and increasing speed by the power of voice is fuel at the moment as we speak because we speak every sound fueled rocket ships. I'm chatting. Yes. And even voice acting would come in handy with something. Literally I've been out of Tanya.
Speaker 7:
Um, seriously you're asking me to look out the window, Sarah, huh?
Speaker 6:
Oh yeah. Yeah. Sorry. It was, I forgot. Cause you say you can see some things. Can you, I mean it's not complete blindness, is it
Speaker 7:
not complete blindness? Just enough to get me into trouble.
Speaker 6:
You always trouble pal.
Speaker 7:
Hey, can I use a telescope? I might be able to see something with that,
Speaker 11:
Speaker 7:
A microscope maybe. No, that wouldn't work. I can see blackness out there and space. So that means there's nothing there. No obstacles, which means I can pilot this thing. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Alright, cool.
Speaker 6:
Okay. Wow. Well, you S floating up on me. No, I don't want to ask you. Thank you for that. And we could maybe ask, can you see communicating in box? You seem to be the first dog to be walking on the moon. Oh, he's mad. Love. Fuck dog didn't tell you I was allergic to dogs only a few thousand times this month. My voice stayed the same this time. [inaudible] did you hear that episode of we fixed space. Don't wear overs.
Speaker 7:
Season two, episode seven. Yep. Hiccup. Change voice.
Speaker 6:
Oh, he's scratching there again. He hasn't. Um, he hasn't brought flees with them as a
Speaker 7:
Sarah. Don't be crazy. You are scratching there too. That's eczema
Speaker 6:
different. I'm sorry. I know you have a gorgeous little [inaudible]. Oh yeah, you scratch it again. Ugh. Oh, that reminds me. We had this with this brilliant winning script from my a piece age nine from England. Do you want to hear it? My appears? Yeah. What a beautiful name protects the innocent. Oh, this is a great one. You'll love it. Oh, the fleas by nine-year-olds Mike narrowed it by Matt Upton.
Speaker 12:
Sunday the 19th of November, 1960
Speaker 13:
Speaker 12:
a diary today. The fleets just from head to tail and blinding white pajamas with a metal cylindrical foreign object. I prefer to nickname CFOs. Strap to them, landed on me again, leaving a small crater on my body. I was scared of what they would do next and he tried to shave them off, but not to any avail. Instead, I was orbiting earth with you. Originated from all starting to be tortured me sitting at the pointy and sharp stick with paper. On the end. It had embroidered red and white strips on it, but a quarter was with slate stars with a deep blue background and so it made me think of my beloved omens face being invaded by these strange people. They also thought I was a place for them to live on their Rocky bed. It was horrible. Well saying in loudly snoring. I have negative feelings about the scenario. I am in pain fleecing I am inhabited by Allianz, which may be true. They are unbelievably annoying am not to be as a sleeping bag and I am just fed up with him coming here once every couple of years. They have disrupted by somewhat peaceful life in which I am perfectly content without constant interruptions for six months straight. Next time I'll bring up my cannons. There'll be sure to do fetal damage to the internal organs of the fleas. Not to mention the oxygen tanks of those fairly big needles they ride in comparison to me.
Speaker 6:
Ah, the moon has feeling according to ms peace. Yes, because speaking of which, um Oh my foot's gone to sleep. I think I need a little walk on it once we listened to the next moon along. That's right. Monologue. Love that. Yeah. I think it was clean by Karen. Home dial. Who, who incidentally. Right. This next piece is fun times, right? I'm, I'm off Brook flight floaty. Walk for all of three foot that way. You've got two feet already. Three foot this way is uh, another woman's 4,000, 700 million plus infinity model. Johnny, the other way I guess. Yeah. Can you remember? Can you play them the thing, if it's loud enough, might wake up my foot. Well,
Speaker 7:
of course. Here you go folks. This is a moon monologue by Karen Heindel. Valan is a woman of color and a specialist, a mining engineer. She's in her mid thirties. This scene takes place in a mining base located at the South pole of the moon sometime in the late 2070s. Oh, well. We still be alive then. Sarah. Sarah. Oh, she's gone.
Speaker 8:
Geez. I did you.
Speaker 6:
Well, I go to usually sinister. How's he a child's toy and yes, yes. I am behind you and yes, I hope to be alive in the 2070s. Yes, I am aiming to get to telegram from my King one day. Elvis is dead. I mean the future. Future King of England.
Speaker 7:
Oh yes. A telegram. How quaint. Well, that'd be lovely.
Speaker 14:
Take care. Bye. Karen Handel narrated by Angelica Lazarus
Speaker 12:
today. I watched my daughter's skip along the Murray cognitive braids jumping inside his space suit.
Speaker 14:
Speaker 12:
I watched her skipping by the sea of knowledge, knowing so much and yet so little. She is so strong and brave and trusting. I want to protect her from all the dangers of the world and make life easy and fun and safe.
Speaker 14:
I thought she turned it a little off to me for a second. Planting in her buys before she started revealing and zigzags creating tracks. Lunar does slowly swirling up around her. I could hear her laughter through the comm. She ran up to me and I lifted her up and swung her around like I used to do when she was three. I might've struggled a little doing that now back on earth, but moon gravity means I'll probably still be able to do it when she's 18 I was the first woman on the moon. I took my first step here on August 27 2069 and I never left one small step for womankind. Right though there was no broadcast, no media attention, no pithy well-chosen words. 100 years after Neil Armstrong planted his flag and here was I just an engineer's sent to man to woman. In fact, a one person mining base.
Speaker 14:
Everyone lost interest in the moon once Mars became a viable option with the successful Mars mission in 2024 what was that, sweetie? Yes, go out and play if you want, just stay in the protected zone. No, mommy has to finish this. Yes, you go. Don't forget to pay before you get into your suit. Love you too sweetheart. I am so lucky to have her. I never thought I wanted a kid and for a long time I was so happy on my own, but it was written into my contract with Cosmo Corp that as I was away on an indefinite mission during my reproductive years, I could request sperm if I wished to procreate. And I thought about it more and more about bringing up a kid in this place about if I would be any good at this parenting thing about if I could stand not trying.
Speaker 14:
In the end I realized I couldn't standard that is so I requested some sperm and in the next supply crate there were five vials from five different men. No clue who they are or we're, I suppose I got pregnant on the third try. I was fortunate to have a pretty uncomplicated pregnancy. I only realized after I actually got pregnant and did some proper research how dangerous even normal pregnancies are and what absolute lunacy, pun definitely intended. It was to even consider being pregnant and give birth all on my own. Of course the contract was not drawn up by someone with a uterus, let alone someone who had actually given birth. So what did they know? It was horrible, but we both survived and she was such a happy and easy baby. Good thing because I still had to do my job. Mining on the moon is fairly automated though, so it worked out all right.
Speaker 14:
I remember reading about the first women astronauts and how they got these ridiculous questions about how they were supposedly abandoning their husbands and children and if they weren't afraid they would get hysterical. Hate that word and not be able to control their emotions. Once in space. I guess some things change but procession. Right, and now I have been debating whether I should send this out into the void. I should send something and it might as well be this. I suppose I am hoping it reaches someone hoping it reaches the Mars colony. Really, but if not just someone, anyone earth is silent. It has been 182 days since our final supply crate and 164 days since our last communication with earth. What I see from here is terrifying. I think there was a nuclear war in the end from what I could piece together. The global governance of Telus broke down and the various descended into all out war. In a matter of weeks, there must be survivors, right? They're probably in bunkers hiding out until it's safe to go to the surface. Yeah, that must be it.
Speaker 14:
We're okay. We can manage with the greenhouse and the animals. The supply crates were mostly for things like medicine and clothes and entertainment and mining equipment. And I have a stockpile of medicine and clothing that should last us at least 10 years if we're careful entertainment we can do without mining equipment is redundant now of course. Why mine for titanium when no one's there to buy it? I have better things to do with my time, but it would be nice to know to know we're not alone to know there is a possibility we could meet someone else at some point. So if you hear this, let us know. All right, thanks. Chika wait right there. I'm coming out to play.
Speaker 6:
Oh, I love these mommy. Do two stories. I mean, just look, I mean, just look at the for me. Let me think about, Oh those people just like, you know, from 24 when they put all the different pictures of things and then I didn't like, like to those and it's mind blowing, isn't it? No, no borders, no segregation of vegetation. It's just, just one big old bluesy, Whitey greeny. Browny gooey just well like, Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it beautiful? God. How could you even say [inaudible] toy robot is this thing naturally alive? No. Freaky. Oh, did you say the M a from space episodes by the BBC. That's amazing. Seriously. I mean it's nearly as good as this except so until I can zoom in and see the cool baby elephants. Um, no phones ringing so you can still get a second get. That's weird. Cause we weren't ever a black spot in the South of England where I never get a signal. I that is fair enough.
Speaker 15:
Sarah. Hello?
Speaker 6:
Speaker 15:
I thought we were meant to meet in the pub for our planning session. Who are you on your way?
Speaker 6:
Uh ha bum. Fiona. Thrill of of tatting onions. I was meant to, to meet her forever.
Speaker 15:
Oh Fiona? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Fair. Now
Speaker 6:
I'm going to be late.
Speaker 16:
Well by how long I can get a later train.
Speaker 6:
Um, hang on. Tanya. Tanya, Tanya, Tanya. How long does it take to get to the moon? Have a quick lie down in a chill, maybe came a 10 years down, pop some Hills, berries and treasure and, and maybe twinkle toes here and then, and then get back home. Don't doubt it. Probably like six to eight days because it's like 340,000 miles or more fear net. Yes. About I'll be about six days.
Speaker 16:
You wouldn't be here for six days.
Speaker 6:
Yes. Would be because I've just got to travel 348,000 miles and then back to the [inaudible].
Speaker 16:
Oh, I can't wait that long. I've got to pick my daughter up in two hours. Um, Sara, where exactly are you and Tanya and twin quarter?
Speaker 6:
Um, so how did you know twinkle toes was here?
Speaker 16:
Well, I sense his dark presence
Speaker 6:
probably for the best. He's weird, isn't he? Um, well you, you, you never get the believers, but we were on our way to the moon.
Speaker 16:
That's exciting. The real moon.
Speaker 6:
Yeah. Cool. Is there another one?
Speaker 16:
I'm not at Liberty to say. So. How on earth did you swing that one?
Speaker 6:
Oh, long story. And David old helped with his astrophysics. He helped us create the ship and, and well, the rest was sheer tenacity and, and really stupid experiments with soldier ions. Um, actually I wash your head. You do want to perform a monologue first. Um, cause words, they fuel the rocket to sin. We, you speak so beautifully.
Speaker 16:
Sure. What's it called and who's it by?
Speaker 6:
Well, the next one's called darkness by. Oh. Oh, that's, that's handy.
Speaker 16:
Oh, exciting. Here we go. Are you sitting comfortably
Speaker 6:
space. Ignore him. That's not my dog. It's Nabu. Yeah, he wants to hear your story. Don't you? Boy. Darkness by Fiona through thrill. Narrated by Fiona. Thrill my people. What I have to say to you today, it's not an easy speech. It's not a speech about how well our economy's doing. It's not a speech about how creation of 2000 new jobs last week. I've already told you all about that. No, this is a hard speech because it is personal
Speaker 16:
to me. He even leaders like me who were once children, whatever the press might say, children who grew up reading about world history, children who grew up reading about humanity's achievements, who were inspired by the incredible scientific breakthroughs that preceded our lives on this planet. For me, one of the greatest accomplishments of the existence of the human race was us reaching the moon. I'm a bit too young to have seen it happen live on TV, but like pretty much all of you. I saw that very famous footage, the first steps on that dusty surface of our nighttime friend. In that moment, I remember the sense of excitement. I felt if we could walk on the moon, well, we could reach anywhere. Have you seen that rocket? They went up in those brave astronauts. If we could put something together like that in the 1960s then what can we do now? And that's why this is so hard to tell you all the truth, but you need to know it. You deserve to know it so that you can act upon it.
Speaker 16:
The moon landings never happened. Not because there were no moon landings, but because there is no moon. I appreciate that you're wondering about the sanity of your president right now and believe me, I would prefer for me to be insane then for this to be the truth, but truth. It is and you deserve to hear it. For many years now, this country's top scientists have been concerned by the movements of the moon. It's constant nocturnal presence above our country's streets, but to now using cutting edge analysis, those top scientists have found the moon to be the most sophisticated artificial construction of espionage we have ever known and all CT self luminating recording device scouring our country. When you and I are in our bet on aware of this aggressive surveillance, we are still awaiting official verification of its origins. So I call on you all now not to jump to conclusions about our neighbors and fellow citizens.
Speaker 16:
You understand this involves fake news on an unprecedented level. Our enemies literally rewriting the history books to include mentions of this planetary body to make us feel as if it has always been with us as if it has deep roots in our poetry, in our art, in our silence, so please might people, I implore you, be patient with us while we finalize our conclusions and to trust in us that this will be met with the absolute full force of our defensive services. In the meantime, for your protection, we are in stating martial law with immediate effect. There will be a Countrywide curfew 20 minutes before dusk every evening until sunrise, my dear people. I know that the vast, vast majority of you will be glad to cooperate in this. I promise you that we will deal with this as fast as possible and unless you're a spy trying to make contact with your people via the moon systems, this will not affect your life at all to hasten this process even more.
Speaker 16:
My people, I'd like us all to look around us. Are there people we might know who appear to follow patterns of the moon surveillance? Someone in your street who goes on business trips each month, perhaps even a family member who claims to mysteriously bleed in the same Moonphase every month. Once again, this is not aimed at the vast majority of us or that are a tiny minority of moon agents walking among us. They are the few. We are the many and we will crush them. We will make our country safe once more, but it will take us coming together to seek out those who threatened our privacy, who pry into our very souls with the fake so-called Moonlight. I ask you to trust me like I trust you and in return I promise you that I will bring our country back to the natural calm nights. The natural darkness that is our ancestors. Bring back our night, bring back, ah, darkness, Oh is real
Speaker 6:
love that you should be a precedent funeral resident. Seriously, you're all natural precedent of a very tiny planet. Maybe. I love that. I promise to do any nice things and obviously not to abuse my power in any way or invade places or the signal
Speaker 17:
Speaker 2:
this at the end of part one of three of the Muna log sessions. Join us next time for part two. Thank you to Tanya [inaudible] for accompanying circle in on this pearless machine and thank you to our winning monologues in this episode. Moon by Hayden Davis, narrated by Tonya Millileau, even the moon franchise nut never was by J Christian Elliot and performed by James Liva fleas by Maya [inaudible], narrated by Madison Upton TYCA by Karen [inaudible], narrated by Angelica Lazarus, darkness written and narrated by Fiona thrill. Thank you to our narrator of breadth Masco Watts and thank you to call Lozan for their beautiful music. You are listening to her now and huge thanks again to all of the quirky voices Patrion supporters who honestly encouraged and made this happen. Check out quirky voices@weebly.com for more information about upcoming quirky fun. Tune in for the next exciting episode. Coming soon is ours for the moon and all who have stood upon it. Happy listening, happy adventuring and goodbye. For now.

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