Quirky Voices Presents

QUIRKY VOICES VA SHOWCASE - Joey Hernandez - EXISTENTIAL DREAD - Gory Monster Horror - 15+

Sarah Golding / Joey Hernandez

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Hello!

I have some exciting new content to share with you! Yes! Today we introduce you to ANOTHER GROOVY AF...

QUIRKY VOICES SHOWCASE - NEW VOICE ACTING STUDENTS OF AUDIO JOY

INTRODUCING JOEY HERNANDEZ
in
- EXISTENTIAL DREAD - GORY MONSTER HORROR -

Here launcheth the first of 8 groovy pieces as a showcase vehicle for some of my brilliant last cohort of voice actors from the latest Quirky Voices Voice Acting Course of Audio Joy!

Today I release 6 of these wonderous students out into the world to be cast in allll of the things! Every one of them has been a pleasure to work with, and would be very much at home in any genre of audio drama!

This piece features the fantastic talents of Joey Hernandez  - enjoy the warm, happy, boy-next door vibes he creates in Dane, a fiancee about to find out more than he bargained for from his intended bride....

CAST
DANE - Joey Hernandez
JAMIE - Taylor Garcia Van-Biljon
POLICE OFFICER - Justin Price

Please be warned this does contain a monster attacking and eating someone lovely, and someone witnessing their own demise. No melons were harmed during the making of this, but some were eaten afterwards.

Please find links to finding and contacting Joey below, and....employ him doo!

Massive thanks also to John Bartmann for his wonderful music for all of these pieces - you can find his works here, and also become a Patreon for his works here, And here is a link to his fabulous podcast with interviews with other amazing musicians working in audio drama - How I Make Music!

All sounds were either made by Sarah, from her growing libraries or found from freesound.org on Creative Commons 0 licenses.

Enjoy!

I wrote these pieces bespoke for the students to showcase their wares. I truly hope you enjoy dipping in, and, feel free to tweet out your fave performances or let me know on @quirkyvoices or email me on quirkyvoices@gmail.com. I would LOVE to hear from you - and if you feel so inclined - leave a review for these Groovy AF students!

I would love your support to help make more of these groovy workshops - and Quirky Voices VA courses. If you are an audio creative and would like to sponsor a space on a future course for a budding VA of colour, or from a marginalised community, please email and let me know - and thank you! I also try to help by varying the price structure for certain students depending on circumstance, and also offer a sponsored Quirky place FOR FREEEE!

New courses start in NOVEMBER! Keep an eye on QUIRKYVOICES@WEEBLY.COM for more information, or click here to find details on the NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2021 course.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING

Casting directors, take note of the talent coming out of these shows doooo!
EMPLOY THEM ALL.....!


Sarahxx

LINKS TO JOEY'S SOCIAL MEDIA

Twitter: @IJUSTCRITFAILED

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/QuirkyVoices)

Support the show

Ping Sarah on @QUIRKYVOICES or send a message to quirkyvoices@gmail.com

Feel free to review and of the shows herein, and if you want to support Quirky Voices works, become a Patreon! You get early works and earlybird eps and discounts for any courses.....

HAPPY CREATING!

Existential Crisis
by
© Sarah Golding 2021


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CAST
DANE - Joey Hernandez
JAMIE/CREATURE - Taylor Garcia Van-Biljon
POLICE OFFICER - Justin Price

===========================



SFX Click of WALKIE talkie, SOUND of mountain boots walking on loose mountainside. 


DANE
Wakey wakey! Morning darling! This is your 7am mountain hike alarm call from your fiancée of two and a half glorious days. The weather this morning is blue skies and no wind apart from in your sleeping bag and it’s time to wake up and make me some coffee! Yeah….I just went and got us some truly fresh and decent firewood so…get out the bacon and we’ll make us a slap up  m-……Wait. Oh…Ohno. No no no…..There’s. There’s something outside the tent. Darling it’s a….Oh. Oh no. Stay still. Stay still and shut this off or put the headphones on it. Or take the batteries out. There’s a. There’s a bear sniffing around the tent. ItS a big one darling. It’s…I’m. Im too far to…too far to scare it. (Nervous gulp) Don’t. Move. (Upset cry) oh. No no no you 

SFX BEAR / CREATURE SOUNDS AND RIPPING TENT

(SHOUTS) You leave the tent alone! You leave her. Stop! Oh. Oh no! Oh no oh no. Oh. Jamie! Kick it! Jamie! Just. Oh. (V upset now) oh. Oh no. (Breathing)


Breathing


Breathing


(Quiet) Jamie? Oh. Oh no. Oh.


Breathing. 


Ok. Ok Dane. What do you do? What do you do now? It. It took her. So. So. What do you do? Uh. 


SFX WALKIE talkie sound click 


Uh. Uhh. (Pause) Jamie, I. I don’t know if you can hear me but. Uh. I’m coming. Whatever that creature was, wherever it has taken you. I’m. Im going to come and find you. And. And. We’ll get out of here and go to that niagara hotel just like you wanted. Ok? 


I just had a thought though. If. If er…..if I can’t find your then. I don’t know how the hell im gonna find my way back.. cos. Cos you got all the skills huh? You’ve done this so many times. But me? I. I’m er…..pretty useless huh? My dad was right. I just …..I’m… NO damn good at anything useful. I can…..book a flight. I can find and chop firewood and …and start a fire. But. That’s it. That’s….all I’m good for. But you?


You’re like a. A super human. There’s nothing you can’t do. Apart from. The obvious. 


I can’t believe I’ve never ACTUALLY  heard your voice. Like. I imagine it. When you’re…when you’re signing at me. But. Oh. Jamie. I….I wish …..I hope….I hope I see you sign again and …and I can imagine you….I find you and you’re…you’re up a tree or something and the the creature it just took one s iif your shoes and went…nope. And…and I find you and you sign…’about time too’ and I help you down and I treat your scratches and we have our coffee and bacon and we go home and…Man I wish you could talk. I. I wish you could speak Jamie…right now….tell me you’re ok….tell me where you are…... But then. I guess I’m also glad I couldn’t….. hear you scream. 


Cos. 



I nearly fainted as it is. I. I think this is shock now. Yeah. I. I feel weird. I feel. Light and…strange and…


SFX (HE FALLS)


Arghh. Ah. Ow. ADH. My. Head. Dang it. I hit my head. This. This isn’t good. This isn’t. Oh. Oh my head is wet. Can you hear me? I’m ok. But. Woahhh. I feel. 


I


I feel weird Jamie. I. I can’t get….up. I. I just want to shut my eyes but….I….


(Breathing)


Ok. No. No. I. I have to get up. I. C’mon Dane. Go find Jamie. You want her to be your wife. Til death do you part. Even though you’re not married yet. You’re gonna. You’re ….she’s your future man. You have a future with her. She. She. She makes you…you…she makes you feel. She gives you…..she sparks joy! Get up. Get up you idiot. Go find her. And get her safe. You need to make her safe you. 


JAMIE


Jamie IS THAT YOU….


Oh. Oh. Oh dear, it’s. It’s the creature. It’s . Oh. It’s not a . Not a bear. It’s. 

It’s. Jamie? Is. Is that you?


CREATURE

GROWLS


DANE

Uh. Jamie. Such. Big teeth you’ve got. Those….fingernails look…sharp. Jamie. And. Oh. It is you. Your….your beautiful face. But. But. No. What’s happened to you? What. What even are you? I. Oh. I don’t feel so good. Is this a…a mirage? Or is that just….lakes and oasis? 


CREATIRE

GROWLS


DANE

Stop. Jamie. Stop. You. You…..you brought us here to…..to hike and chat…we’ll…I do al of that but my signing was getting good….wasn’t it? No…? No? What do you mean no? I did….I did courses for you Jamie. I. I….studied! Why? You…you askin’ why? Because I love you. Because I….I love you Jamie. So. Come back to me. Help me. I. I banged my head, and. My….what are you doing ? What are you doing Jamie? My foot feels wet. My foot it….OW! Get off me Jamie what are you? Argh! No! No….don’t eat my! That’s my best penalty shooting leg Jamie no….no…..awwww the other one too? Why can’t I feel it? I can see you doing it but I can’t feel you….eating….me….oh my…oh HELP! Hell! Someone! I knew there wasn’t a god Jamie. I knew it. If there was they’d help me now. Or. Ok. So you’re eating my arms now too. Nice. I’m just gonna lie back here Jamie. Just. I guess there’s nothing left I can…I can do…now…so….what are you. No…no (pull your own tongue for this I guess) Not my tongue. No. Jamie. You…..you wanna eat it? You wanna? You’re. ….signing. I. Want. Your. Voice. I. Want. Your legs. I. Need…your blood…..your blood will renew me in my new form…..I….I…Want to speak again…to live….  I …..am sorry. No. Jamie. Nooooooo


DANE SCREAMS


SCREAM FADES 

SFX POLICE OFFICE AMBIENCE, A PENCIL NOTES DETAIL ON PAPER

OFFICER

So….Dane is it?


DANE

Yes sir.


OFFICER 

Tell me again what happened. I just need to document it for police Records in case she does turn up somewhere. Tell me exactly what happened….


JAMIE

Well sir, she just went off. Like. We’d had a fight and. And she knows these lands like the back of her hands. She. She said she had had enough and was going back home. And…I heard….like a bear. A roar. And I don’t know. I just….got scared and wandered and wandered and….well I followed the river and ended up…here. 


OFFICER

Do you have a picture?


JAMIE

Yes. Sir. Here. 

SFX HANDING OVER PHOTO

OFFICER

Oh. How odd. You have the same….birth mark. On your cheek.


DANE

Indeed we do sir. Indeed. We. Do....


THIRLLING MUSIC BY John Bartmann