Quirky Voices Presents

QUIRKY VOICES VA SHOWCASE - Taylor Garcia Van-Biljon - 5 TEETH?!!! - A kids tooth fairy adventure 7+

October 18, 2021 Sarah Golding / Taylor Garcia Von Biljon
Quirky Voices Presents
QUIRKY VOICES VA SHOWCASE - Taylor Garcia Van-Biljon - 5 TEETH?!!! - A kids tooth fairy adventure 7+
Quirky Voices Presents +
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Show Notes Transcript


More, New, exciting content to share with you! Yes! Today we introduce you to.....


Today I release 6 of these wonderous students out into the world to be cast in allll of the things! Every one of them has been a pleasure to work with, and would be very much at home in any genre of audio drama!

This piece features the fantastic talents of Taylor Garcia Von-Biljon  - enjoy the quirky, happy cheeky tones of Fairy Grumptious in this fun kids tale.

MAYBUG  - Justin Price,
KID ASLEEP - Kayla Rivera,
TFHQ  HELP - Sarah Golding

Please be warned this gentle kids story involves an insect - MAYBUG - getting stuck in someone's sleeping mouth, and a flying insect and tooth fairy.

Massive thanks also to John Bartmann for his wonderful music for all of these pieces - you can find his works here, and also become a Patreon for his works here, And here is a link to his fabulous podcast with interviews with other amazing musicians working in audio drama - How I Make Music!

All sounds were either made by Sarah, from her growing libraries or found from freesound.org on Creative Commons 0 licenses.


I wrote these pieces bespoke for the students to showcase their wares. I truly hope you enjoy dipping in, and, feel free to tweet out your fave performances or let me know on @quirkyvoices or email me on quirkyvoices@gmail.com. I would LOVE to hear from you - and if you feel so inclined - leave a review for these Groovy AF students!

I would love your support to help make more of these groovy workshops - and Quirky Voices VA courses. If you are an audio creative and would like to sponsor a space on a future course for a budding VA of colour, or from a marginalised community, please email and let me know - and thank you! I also try to help by varying the price structure for certain students depending on circumstance, and also offer a sponsored Quirky place FOR FREEEE!

New courses start in NOVEMBER! Keep an eye on QUIRKYVOICES@WEEBLY.COM for more information, or click here to find details on the NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2021 course.


Casting directors, take note of the talent coming out of these shows doooo!


Twitter: @tayvanbiljon
and for her online show of grooviness - BACKWATER BASTARDS - @bwbastards tpaigegarcia@gmail.com 

Taylor Garcia van Biljon is a designer, human, and voice over artist. She is a cast member and co-producer of the comedy improv actual play podcast, Backwater Bastards. This project has led to involvement in many live and recorded collaborations in the ttrpg sphere over the past few years, and has even spawned a secondary Patron exclusive show, Backwater Bastards: SideArm. She can be found regularly guesting on tabletop streams, talk channels, and live charity gaming events. She plans to continue to g

Support the show

Ping Sarah on @QUIRKYVOICES or send a message to quirkyvoices@gmail.com

Feel free to review and of the shows herein, and if you want to support Quirky Voices works, become a Patreon! You get early works and earlybird eps and discounts for any courses.....


5 teeth ?!! A Tooth fairy kids adventuuuure!
© Sarah Golding 2021

Tooth Fairy, Fairy Grumptious - Taylor Garcia Von Biljon
Maybug - Justin Price
Sleeping kid - Kayla Rivera
TFHQ helpdesk - Sarah Golding




Oh. My goodness. Five? Five at once!?Who loses five at once? Five!!! Teeth!! And they’re big ones. Oh…my goodness! Gadzooks even! No. I can’t do it. I can’t! I’m not built to fly with 5! And I’m all on my own, so lonely. Why can’t we work in pairs? Oh I do wish I had a friend. A friend to help me carry this heavy load. Hmm. Think think think G. Thinkety think. Right. Yes. I need to phone TFHQ don’t I? My TF insurance won’t cover a broken back, or stretched wings, or a tired core, which is I’m sure what I’d get if I tried to lift all of these at once. Oh…they won’t even fit in my fairy pouch and it’s extra large too! 

Oh. Oh No! This will not do! What to do what to doooooo?

Oh, oh no, with all my furious wing buzzing the human child is waking up. Uhm. Shhhhhhh little human child….shhhhh. I can never remember if I am to whisper up their nose or in their ears. Oh well. I know to just stay away from the gaping mouth, hmmm? Those yawns are powerful suckers and I know a fairy colleague or two have lost boots or entirely disappeared, feared yawned to the dark death of an oesophagus, the throat or as I see it, the deep dark cavernous tunnel of darkest deepest black. Ok. Come on G, Where’s my pouch! Ah! Here it is. (Clears throat) 

Do the magic fairy dust thing in good time,

but do remember well, that it has.. to ..rhyme. 

Ok G. You can do this….you mustn’t wake him up…if he sees you, you turn to dried leaf or a white feather forever…depending, of course, how very good you have been. And right now, I’m not quite sure where I stand if I let everyone down and don’t deliver these teeth! Tonight is not a night for disappointing..no.….but the fairy motto is, 

whatever is under the pillow must be delivered to fairy climes, 

for fear the evil Maybugs hunt you, kill you, steal the teeth and dines. 

Be careful lest you call them, for their horns can spill your magic, 

and as we know, the loss of any tooth fairy is tragic! 

Oh come on, Concentrate. Sprinkle the fairy dust…..come on G! He mustn’t walk up he mustn’t. 


Ok little boy please don’t awake

I am your friendly tooth fairy and your teeth I’m gonna take

Im gonna Sprinkle tinkled fairy dust upon your young visage, 

so if you premature awaken then I am but a mirage

Your tooth-fairy I ammmmm

My job has been assigned

But 5 teeth in one journey?

Well I think I just resigned!

Ah. Good. A yawn. And he’s a sleep again. Great. Good. Great. Ok. Let’s call HQ. Where’s my….antennae…(sfx) and….my phone…(sfx) ..aha! …and…the number….(dials) 444, 4444, 44, 44, 44, 4, 444,4. (Long pause) 4.

.                             SFX  She picks up and connects her telephone and dials.

Hello. TFHQ? Yes this is Fairy Grumptious…can you pop me through to complaints please? Thank you. Yes my Fairy docket number is 666 and this is job 999. Yes, it is an emergency. No I cannot hold. Yes I have sprinkled. No I don’t want to tell you the problem. (Listens) What! A 24 hour wait for complaints. Well what can I do? I have 5 teeth here for collection at once. Yes. I know. 5. Two are very pointy…I’m not sure but maybe this kid is a vampire…I dunno. (Listens) No I can’t. No it wouldn’t cover it, Yes it would stretch them…and tire it, I know. But I don’t know what to do. Oh wait.

.                             SFX  A buzzing.

Oh no! As if tonight couldn’t get any worse….a may bug has just flown in! Yes. It’s landed on the bed and it’s red eyes are looking right at me. Ok. Hang on. 

Hey Maybug. Please leave. 

It’s shaking it’s horn. Hmm. Now it’s looking at me funny. It’s…pointing….It wants one of my gold coins. No. I’m not going to give him one, look. 

Shoo! Shoo! 

Oh, oh no….he’s walking up the bedsheets. He’s on the boys chest. Oh no. Oh please don’t wake him up Maybug, please. Wait! Stop! Don’t fly on his nose. Or up it. Watch out for the yawn! Oh no! 

Hey, TFHQ help desk? Tne boy just yawned and sucked in the maybug. Yeah. It looks gross. The things head is still out tho. What should I do? You sure? Ok.

Ok maybug. TFHQ suggests I help you and pull you out before you’re swallowed….or get injured by those remaining teeth, so, blink those beautiful red eyes if you won’t hunt me eat me or kill me when you’re free? Ok. Maybug blinked. Great. Ok. Here goes


I’m pulling, I’m stretching, I’m…putting in effort…I’m….pulling….it’s….its….WOAHHHH! 

Maybugs free, yay maybug, and…thank goodness the human child has turned over and is asleep. So. Uh. What happens now. 


I…can’t understand you maybug. Hang on. TFHQ does the fairyterpreter work with Maybugs…? It should do? Groovy. 

Let me just place the interpreter halo on your horn sir, so that we may understand each other in full. If you think, I will understand you, and vice versa. 

.                              SFX a brrringggg sound of the interpreter turning on 

Huh? Oh. Sure. Maybug says thanks for freeing me. I didn’t fancy a slide down the the deep dark cavernous tunnel of darkest deepest black. Oh! You call it that too huh? How can you repay me!! Well. I might just have an idea….

I tell ya what! If you want to repay me, and earn a gold coin, how do you feel about joining me on this job and carrying some teeth? Huh? You will? Good. You feel you can carry them to tooth fairy fields HQ? It’s about a three hour fly. Oh…you do? Fantastic! Well TFHQ it seems I don’t need complaints after all. Maybe you can send a message to allies that we need a welcome team in three hours for me and my new friend here Maybug. Yes! Yes he’s just now storing two teeth under one wing…and two under the other, and yes maybug can still fly! Genius.

Well yes, MAYBUG, I ..I will lead the way. Let me just put this coin under the pillow and the tooth in this velvet red bag……oh…thank you…I stitched it myself…and……are you ready? Well, let’s awayyyyyy! 


Oh yes how lovely to have a new friend to fly with. This job can be so lonely. I’m so glad you’re not a nasty maybug. I’ve heard such tales about horrible ones who eat tooth fairies…and even eat the human teeth. Scrape scrape scrape. Yes. Yes I know. 

(Conversation fades into the distance). Well you’ll just have to come to the fairy ball at the weekend as my guest. They will be impressed that we brought 5 teeth at once back to the fairy fields. These ones are big enough to perhaps be considered as foundations for the new fairy castle they are planning to build. How exciting is that? Oh, well, maybe yes we could keep one and make it into an armchair…with the right cushions of course! You might stay for a few days in fairy fields? You’ve always wanted a fun friend tooo? Well How lovely.